Losing You All Over Again Chapter 1: A Newer Panem
by Sagegirl28
Summary: After the Rebels win, someone assasinates President Paylor and takes over Panem into the old fashioned way. First off punishing the victors, the story starts with having all of the boy victors returned to the stadium. First story- hope you enjoy3


_{Losing You All Over Again}_

Chapter 1:

ANNIE

Most days I just huddled in my bedroom, scared that the slightest movement might end my life. I didn't know who I was anymore. How could I? I was only one half of what I had known myself to be. And it's awful. I want to die.

Before I can do anything to compel my suicidal tendency, there's a frantic knocking at my door. My heart begins to thump, my palms sweat. _Finnick._ I wipe them gently on my gown, before hobbling to the door and opening it the tiniest crack. "Annie..." A girl's quiet voice echoes through my door. I can hear the concern dripping off her tongue, and it angers me a bit.

"I'm FINE." I hissed at her before attempting to shut the door on her. She was too fast. "Dammit..." With her foot wedged in the door, I gave up and just walked over to my bed and laid there.

"My GOD Annie! What'd you do!" she says taking in the room that was once sparkling clean; it now had clothes strewn around everywhere, trash from prior meals, and random papers littered the floors. I just sighed and leaned back. I probably wasn't looking much better than the room. "Honey, you've got to take care of yourself…" This wasn't the girl I knew. And I was slowly bubbling to pounce, but I knew better. I knew why she was being sweet. She thinks I'm crazy. And she's lost hers too. "Annie have you even looked at yourself?" She picks up a mirror with seashells on it, and I find myself palming the seashell on my necklace and taking a deep breath._ Is_. She holds up the mirror to my face, and I can't say I was very surprised. The makeup from the interview was smeared down her cheeks, her eyes were all red and puffy, hair in tight knots, and to tie the look together, she looked slightly crazed. The other girl looked up at her. "Annie, I know how hard it is. But-"At that I stood up, slamming the mirror down from her hands, shattering it into a million pieces. She looked shocked.

"HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW!" I stood there glaring at her, until I saw the calm, silent, yet welcome sadness take her over as well, and she whispered,

"I lost Peeta…" she whispered before walking out of the room. _Gone._

I knew what I should have done. I should have gone and grabbed poor Katniss in my arms and held her tight and close, and cried with her. _Finnick is gone. Finnick AND Peeta are gone._ But I couldn't bring myself to it. Instead, I laid there for the rest of the night, holding my knees to my chest, afraid to turn the television on.

KATNISS

"I lost Peeta…" that's when I could feel the terror set in on me. The ice grips my heart. The tears ready to slide. But I couldn't possibly let them out. Not in front of poor, struggling, Annie Cresta. So instead, I ran into the hallway. When I got to the corridor that led to the game viewing room I heard Gale talking, and my heart stopped. _Gale killed my sister._ I took a deep breath, but walked into the room anyway and stared at the television screen. _Peeta's still alive. He's alive. Stay alive. Please._ I'm sure I let out a sob of some sort, because when I looked away from the screen, I saw all of the boys staring at me. My eye's met Gale's and my heart began beating faster than I ever thought possible. Then I made a run for it, sprinting down the halls of District 13. But of course, I'd get lost. I slid down a wall and held my knees to my chest._ You're strong Katniss. You're strong. _I let my breathing calm down. I needed someone to talk to. I needed Prim, or Peeta. And I probably won't see either of them ever again. I heard someone walking up to me, but I kept my face down.

"Hey Catnip…" Gale almost whispered to me. Relief flooded over me. I don't know why! I hate Gale. He killed Prim at the capitol. And the strange thing is, him coming to me just now made me realize I forgave him. I'd never forgive him for the decision, but I forgave him for the act. That sudden realization made me jump up and jump onto him. He held me tight, and I struggled to breathe. _I have Gale back._ But my heart stopped. How can I forgive him. He killed my Prim. My Primrose. And yet here I was, hugging the monster? I pulled back quickly and slapped him across the face. He grabbed my hands. "Katniss…" He whispers to me. "I'm so so so so so sorry about Prim..about Peeta even. Katniss please." I shook my head. I wasn't letting Gale in again. I started to, _Due to weakness._ I figured. Due to losing Peeta. "God can't I do anything?"

"NO! Gale. You KILLED Prim. For no reason. We didn't even WIN the damn war! And now I lost PEETA! Because of YOU! It's all your FAULT! It's all..your…" And then I was sobbing. I don't know what has happened to me. Since I lost Peeta I've been crying. I've been laying there for hours, doing nothing. I've been a weakling piece of the Katniss who was the girl on fire. From the Katniss before it all. Gale reached to hug me but I shoved his hands away. "No…" I whispered. "Never again." And I pushed him away high-tailing for my room. _I need my Peeta._

FINNICK 

We we're making it out alright. We'd found a cave, Peeta and Beetee and I , and it was enough to save us from the acid rain, and lightning storms so far. But we knew that unless Beetee found a way to get us out of here, we were all dead. And I would never see my Annie again. Peeta says he's holding by for Katniss, but I know it's not working as well as he says. He starts getting distant, and at times I wonder if the hijacking Snow put him under is what causes it. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. _I've never felt so weak._

ANNIE

Laying alone at night. It's 1 am and you're still on my mind. I can't do anything but pray you'll be back soon. I hold my waist where you're arms are supposed to be and close my eyes as tight as I can. My eyes water and I squeeze them tight willing myself not to cry. But when I do, the images flash before me. The other district 4 tributes head being tossed onto my lap. My silent screams. The tributes in the flood. And then I'm wondering if he's still alive. If HE's strong enough to kill another soul. Another friend. Peeta. If Finnick comes home in a coffin I don't think I can live with myself. Once again I heard a quiet knock at the door. I was shivering by now, freezing in the apartment all by myself. Everything was a mess but I didn't care anymore. "Annie..." Katniss called from the doorway. I edged it open. "Hey…" I managed out, barely audible. She pushed the door a little forcing me to let her in. She reached out to try and comfort me yet again, butI just shook my head once more. "I miss him..." I trailed off…

"Annie honey…" Katniss whispered. I could see right through her sweet facade. She wasn't sweet by nature. We all knew that one. Even I wondered how Peeta kept up with her. But then I saw how Peeta looked at her and I knew right away that he wouldn't leave her even if she made him. And then I realized she really understood. Her heart was breaking too. I embraced her and heard as she began to cry. _I don't remember the last time I was the strong one._'

KATNISS

Peeta was there…or here. He ran towards me and took me in his arms, spinning me around, holding me, then rocking me back and forward as I had my eyes squeezed shut. The only reason I knew it was him was because of his scent. "Katniss it'll be ok. I've got you…" I wrapped my arms around him too, and muttered Peeta, slowly opening my eyes.

That's when I knew it was a dream, because wrapped in my arms was Annie Cresta from District 4, her cheeks stained with tears. It all came back to me, and I felt as if I'd been hit with a tow truck. _The capitol has them. _It was too hard to bear, even to think. I looked over at Annie, crying even in her sleep, and slowly crawled out of the young victors bed. I couldn't help but think someone who could seem so crazy could be so peaceful in her sleep. Mentally slapping myself for hypocrisy, I stepped out of Annnie's room slowly closing the door behind me. _Deep Breathes…_ I looked around self consciously before making a dash across the hall when-

"Katniss! Thank GOD I found you!" Effie Trinket squealed. It was a surprise to hear her squealing again. Effie hadn't been the same since we saved her from the crash. Every time she turned around it was as if it was to look over her shoulder and make sure no one was coming towards her. No one was going to hurt her. The doctors called it paranoia. _We_ called it survival. "They found someone! They found someone! We have to hurry! Hurry, hurry!" If it hadn't been for the news of finding someone, I would've laughed at Effie. She was still insisting after the games. But alas, she had mentioned finding _someone_. _Peeta._ I thought. _Please let it be Peeta…_

Through that thought, Effie grabbed my hand and dragged me down the hallway into the office room.

"Girl on Fire…" I sucked in my breathe as my head snapped behind me. I thought it was president snow at first. All I saw was a white head. And then I saw his arm. And his body. And my stomach began to hurt with a burning pain that I knew was for him. For wonderful, wonderful, him.

"Cinna…" I managed to choke out. "They told me you were-"

"Dead. I know." He chuckled, and I took him in. He wasn't as gorgeous as he had been with the golden eyeliner, but he didn't look too bad. He had a bruise from his eye to the bottom of his jaw to under his eye, and his nose was black, purple, and disgustingly swollen. The light easy air and happiness in Cinna's eyes were no longer there. Instead, fear shown like lightning, lighting up his eyes for quick seconds. I knew I wasn't supposed to notice this. But even Cinna's new found fear wasn't nearly as bad as his head. The skin was white and raw, as if it had just grown and never seen the sun. And then it hit me. The skin hadn't. The burn marks on the front of his head only proved my point. They hadn't shaved Cinna's already short hair. They burned it off. I swallowed hard.

" Oh my.." I couldn't bring myself to say the word god. After all I had been through, I couldn't even bring myself to believe in him anymore. "Cinna! How could they do this to you!" it all came out like a waterfall from that point on. "You''tknowiwouldnthaveletthem-"and then I paused realizing the only question I really needed to ask. "How did you get out…?"

CINNA

They told me not to tell her. Not to breathe a word. But my poor little girl on fire was beside herself, and that just wouldn't do for the mockingjay. Even after the war ended, she remained the symbol. _I for one am surprised and GLAD they haven't killed her. _I looked Katniss in the eyes and all the fire that had once shown in her powerful gaze was down to only one. And I knew that it was barely alive as it was. I wrapped my arms around her waist and whispered in her ear. "Peeta's alive." She looked up at me completely confused.

"Of course he is. The games-"

"He's not in the games." A shiver went down her spine and he could tell she was questioning the same thing that had been ringing through his head.

_How powerful has the capitol become?_


End file.
